Confidence and Competence
I’ve always held an interest towards the topic of confidence and from where it is derived. Growing up watching sports, seeing actors and entertainers on television, and encountering people in my own life, I wondered how they got the point they were at. A chicken and the egg type scenario, my curiosity had me beg the question, “Was their success the result of inherent confidence that they would get to that point, or was their confidence and the way they carried themselves obtained after achieving their goals?”.
I questioned if it was necessary to “fake it until you make it,” or if some people just had unwavering belief in themselves. How could it be that some people excel in seemingly all aspects of life, while so many struggle to realize success in even a few aspects of their lives? All I really knew in my formative years was that whether I believed in my abilities or not, I wanted to be perceived as a person who excels.
Through cultivating experiences, meeting different people, and simply growing older, we hopefully start to grasp nuances and build an understanding that things aren’t just this or that, one or another. Some people hold colossal confidence in certain skills or attributes, while also carrying immense insecurities towards others. Some people amplify their strengths and minimize their weaknesses in the presence of other people. Some people dwell on their perceived deficits and disallow themselves from acknowledging their strengths.
A fundamental theme on this continuum of confidence, which I have come to notice not only in my work with clients, but also through my own self-exploration, is that of competence. Competence is the foundational expertise and proficiencies we come to possess, and subsequently, the ability to successfully or efficiently carry out tasks in whichever avenue we may choose to pursue. To put it more directly, we’re more likely to demonstrate confidence if we know what it is we’re doing. The concept behind competence and confidence isn’t that deep, but the underlying bedrock for actually fostering our confidence could be.
A confident athlete possesses competence in the technical and strategic aspects of their chosen sport. A confident teacher has expertise in their field of study, and the ability to convey complex topics in easily understandable ways. A confident performer knows their lines, the notes to sing, and the choreography behind their routine. All of these hypothetical people may very well be confident deficient in other areas of their lives, areas where their expertise aren’t quite as developed.
In trying to promote a general sense of self-confidence, we must first develop our expertise in ourselves. Analyze the things you do well, and the areas you can improve. Reflect on your past with inquisitiveness, rather than criticism. Highlight the parts of yourself that make you feel most uncomfortable, without neglecting to underline the parts that bring you contentment. In building a general competence of who we are as individuals, we can begin to bolster our overall confidence, and prohibit our insecurities from overshadowing our expertise.