Practically everybody you’ve ever encountered has experienced their fair share of fear, or nervousness, or anxiousness, associated with a slew of life factors that you are almost guaranteed to have in common to some degree. The responses that cause us to isolate from others, or to position us against others, are the same responses which have the potential to bring us closer as people.

Confidence is derived in part from the knowledge that we are capable of handling the difficulties that lie ahead, because we have overcome difficulties in the past. By starting with a task that may be difficult, yet not unmanageable, we contribute to the body of evidence that shows us how we do, in fact, have the capacity to handle challenges, boosting our confidence for future situations.

The only way to get better at exercising agency over our behaviors is to practice exercising control of the thoughts that first arise after a situation has taken place. We can practice at any time, as we exhibit behaviors every waking moment of the day. If you aren’t doing anything, you can practice taking note of the thoughts that arise while not doing anything. If you are preparing to do something, take note of what you are anticipating, and whether or not that will make preparation easier or more difficult. Change hardly happens overnight, but we cannot change what we cannot realize is in need of changing. Will you allow your thoughts to shatter you, or transform you for the better?

In trying to promote a general sense of self-confidence, we must first develop our expertise in ourselves. Analyze the things you do well, and the areas you can improve. Reflect on your past with inquisitiveness, rather than criticism. Highlight the parts of yourself that make you feel most uncomfortable, without neglecting to underline the parts that bring you contentment. In building a general competence of who we are as individuals, we can begin to bolster our overall confidence, and prohibit our insecurities from overshadowing our expertise.

When your desired outcome becomes an expectation, any hindrance or delay in the process becomes viewed as an inherent flaw in yourself. In recognizing you are more than your achievements, you allow yourself to better see your inherent strengths. There are parts of yourself that allow for your goals to become reality. When the days themselves become obstacles towards your expectations, you neglect the little victories that encompass each day.

Humans’ abilities to manage impulsive responses, to control seemingly overwhelming emotions, and to anticipate behaviors in pursuit of long term goals, are what have separated us from all other living things that we as a species are aware of. When our ability to harness these abilities is stifled, the repercussions on individual and macro levels can become resounding. Lapses in judgement can prove catastrophic, not only for the consequences they could cause for others, but also for the ways we reflect on ourselves, and how we act subsequently based off these lapses.

Each emotion can warrant an in-depth analysis, but the idea is that all emotions serve a purpose. We need not shy away from the ones we dislike, and we need not disregard the ones that keep us moving down a positive path. The better we get at identifying emotions as they arise, and the more tools we acquire to better regulate them, the better we can utilize our emotions to better ourselves.

We want to highlight the discrepancies in the lives of people we intent to motivate. Motivation for change is established when people come to realize the disconnect between where they are, and where they want to be. We don’t want to create problems when there aren’t any, but we certainly want the person we’re helping to recognize the difference between what is happening, and what they wish was happening. When the discrepancy becomes more apparent, the path towards achieving their goals does too.